When I was in junior high, I was on the yearbook committee and I found myself in with a bunch of idiots. While I grant the fact that we were nothing more than inexperienced eighth grade children, I still look back with a certain amount of disdain at the idiocy I encountered during my very short tenure with this project. The moment that truly stands out to me occurred no more than a week before graduation. It was the day that we got our yearbooks. Naturally, we on the committee got ours a few periods before everyone else because the box was sitting there in the room with us, so we decided to do the typical pass-around and sign each others’ back page with the typical insipid comments that thirteen-year-olds tend to write in those situations… then we get to my yearbook… and a kid named Nick. Nick was not exactly an artist but he decided to draw an “obscene” joke at my expense in back of my book… one which unfortunately took up the entire page. That’s fine… I like a good off-color joke… probably more than most people. Here’s the part that depresses me; he wrote “Have a hiGUjLP.” and drew a bunch of lines around on the page which, only if you stare at the page at just the right angle, imply some sort of thought process. He asked “Do you get it?” with obvious condescension. Obviously I replied that I didn’t. He mocked me but refused to explain himself. The sheep in the class laughed because he was the popular one and they wanted to keep his affection even though I am certain they had no idea what it was supposed to mean… In fact, I still to this day stare at the page and wish for nothing more than a Rosetta Stone to decipher this cryptogram of a bad “joke”. At the time I thought maybe it was supposed to be something regarding a dick going into something… or a blowjob cutting off a sentence… but the drawing does nothing but confuse the matter because it’s supposed to represent something but is so weird that nobody who has seen it can figure out what the fuck it is supposed to be.
Nick from Pomolita’s graduating class of 2000, if you somehow read this… send me an email and explain what the fuck that was supposed to be. I have been baffled by your drawing for thirteen goddamn years.
…also, with regards to Lisa and Eric’s conversation above, that IS something she would do.by